Happily Ever After?

Sharing is caring: Given the current atmosphere in a multitude of lives 😪, I felt, although extremely hesitant, the need to share. Next week marks an anniversary unlike any other. One that doesn’t normally get celebrated in an exciting kind of way. 10 years ago Chuck had me served with divorce papers. 😮 We were 10 years into our marriage and with a mix of our vastly different personalities and unhealthy communication skills we wound up where every marriage at some point does, unhappy. While it marked a very long tumultuous, excruciatingly painful time, it also marked a huge turning point in not only my spiritual walk and my marriage, but myself. As in most marriages, Chuck and I are complete opposites. Chuck was and still is quite, easy going and laid back. Someone who I always took for granted and assumed, let things roll off his back. He doesn’t communicate well when something is wrong. I on the other hand, was and while not in all cases still am an opinionated control freak, uptight, moody individual who has no problem communicating how I feel, no matter how toxic. While I’m still not where I want to be, there is clearly Dessere before the divorce and there is Dessere after the divorce. There is our marriage before, and our marriage now. It was through that time I was able and willing, with lots of prayers from my circle, my sister and the good Lord above, to recognize what I brought to the table. It wasn’t good. Its pretty shameful to be told how ugly you can be. While it doesn’t justify or condone the way Chuck chose to deal with it, I have to own what I contributed in the breakdown of our marriage. Relationships are a 2 way street that take LOTS of work. From BOTH sides. It doesn’t last because of one persons efforts and it doesn’t breakdown because of one persons actions. There is give and there is take. And most importantly, reflection on self. I can without a doubt say, we are still married because of Jesus! Roll your eyes, laugh, doubt, whatever. There is no doubt in my mind, and if you ask Chuck he will say the same, we could only be where we are now because of mighty faith, prayers, lots of forgiveness, a willingness to change and God Almighty. It’s still not easy. It’s still incredibly hard at times to let go of the past. I still want to bash him in the face at times. And I’m sure he feels the same about me. But for me, it’s all worth it. Our family. Our life. Our potential. His potential. He was and still is worth fighting for. Faults and all. A hurtle in the road isn’t a stop sign. It’s meant to be jumped. Sometimes it takes you off course and you find a better road to travel.